He tricked me into having sex with a married man in exchange for a shopping mini-vacation.
I expressly told him about HOW IMPORTANT it is to me to NOT be with a MARRIED person, and he said nothing. He even mentioned not understanding why married men go on sugar daddy sites.
Several times I made the comment that I couldn’t believe he is single, and he never said anything.
At one point he even told me his mother was watching his cats for him…the cats who live with his wife.
We shared intimate stories of grief, still nothing.
I emailed his cousin to ask her. I said:
I don’t know what you can/will or can’t/won’t say, but I ask that you please tell me if his lying to women is a pattern, if he truly is as sad about the passing of his family members as he claims, if he really is in a miserable marriage.
Still, I wonder if I will ever know the truth. How can I? We were so intimate, not just sexually. How could he be so close to me and never tell the truth.
He even tried to act out when I was calling him out on it and asking a lot of questions. He had the nerve to yell at me!
My head is spinning. I haven’t eaten in 14 hours. I can’t stop thinking long enough to feel hungry. My throat is swollen, my head hurts, and my eyes are full of tears every 10 minutes.
He was so wonderful to me. I can’t understand how this happened. There are moments I believe him and just want to forgive him, but I know that is so foolish.
It feels like he took so much from me. I even had mentioned that I thought he was like me: that we both believed people are actually pretty good. The “Pollyanna” place. He agreed.
I need the money he is offering. I almost feel like going along with it just to get the bills paid. I won’t stop caring about him, but maybe I can finally get ahead if I suck it up.
I think tomorrow I’m going to insist he sees what it’s like to be a single mother. Then maybe his alleged grief and pity-party will smack into a steel wall. I should make him see what it’s like to have to feed the kids breakfast, load them up in the car, take them to buy school stuff and other necessities, bring them back, get them to calm down, wash the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the animals.
Punishment of some sort seems appropriate. It seems it would relieve some of the pain, although I know it wouldn’t really.
Nothing will change all the lies he told to start a relationship with me.
Maybe one day I can write about the love part. We were definitely going to fall in it. Maybe somehow this will get better when the sun comes up.