Reality

Yes, I’m falling in Love…but I am also:

Suffering severe uterine contraction pain and cramps regularly. The doctor won’t see me until next week. He just keeps calling me in prescription medication. Now he’s saying “it just takes time to heal after removing the IUD.” WHAT?! Does it really now? How does that explain that I had a good 10 days with no pain, then suddenly one night felt in labor pain and spent the next week in painful cramps?

Everyday I am choosing whether to suffer the pain or take the drugs. Neither option allows me to have a good quality of life. I cannot parent my children, drive anywhere, and can only eat if I smoke. I have a constant upset stomach. I am no longer working, and I have had to pull out of dance.

I watch the world from my picture window right now. There isn’t much to see. I’m bored constantly. Boredom does not go well with my naturally anxious manner. I over-think everything. Then I get depressed. I’m certain the medications have at least some hand in these issues.

All of my friends and family are angry with my doctor. They all want to know why he is not treating me. He isn’t treating me because I am on state-funded health insurance. It’s very obvious. No matter why you call, no matter how much pain you are in or what is happening, you cannot talk to a person unless it is to schedule an appointment. The government is paying him to not treat me essentially. The more patients he gets through the door, the more money he makes – no matter the quality of care he provides.

I also worry that I’m obsessing over Tim. I wonder if this falling-in-love feeling isn’t being fueled, at least in part, by my boredom and anxiety. He is really amazing. He likes me more than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s obvious. I like him a great deal too. I know that part is real – I just hope I’m not over imagining the rest.

If you have information or links or articles about severe uterine pain including a) no bleeding, b) labor back pains, c) pelvic floor cramping, I’d greatly appreciate you to post the link. From everything I read, the Mirena IUD I had removed should not have been causing this. It’s been 2 weeks and 4 days. I had this severe pain at the time of removal and it went away. I had 9-10 days of virtually no pain. Then suddenly the pain started all over 2 nights ago. I’ve already had good blood tests and a clean ultrasound.

Thanks

Peace, love & hope

~P

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One Response to Reality

  1. faithlessjuliet says:

    I am so sorry. I can’t believe that there are doctors out there who don’t treat people in need because of health insurance. One of my good friends is very sick and desperately needs surgery but the doctor wants “to wait” until she’s “in dire need” (I’m guessing that means near-death). It makes me so angry!

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