Am I falling in love?
Tim, f/k/a/ the Hot Dude, is so amazing. He is kind, funny, loving, sexy, smart, and so much more.
My brain slows down around him. We have these moments where we just stare into each other’s eyes. His eyes are liquid pools that are constantly dancing. He is hiding nothing in those moments, and nor am I.
He thinks I am a “goddess.” I can’t recall anyone ever calling me that before. He says my “energy” is like a drug to him. He pulls me to him, pushing his face in to smell my hair. He takes deep breathes and then sighs and relaxes against me.
Each time we kiss is better than the last. Our bodies fit together so that we are equal. It is so comforting. In those moments I know that I am safe from heartache.
He has experienced me breaking down about my PTSD issues, and me suffering through some severe gynecological pain. He knows about the bad things in my life, and I know about his. We accept each other. Sometimes it is not easy to do so, but we both want each other so much that we don’t care.
He is 15 years older than I, but it doesn’t seem that way when we are together. He worries about what people will say. I told him not to worry: it’s not the first relationship I’ve had where people stared at me – all that matters is that we are happy and healthy together.
There are these songs about love I’ve been hearing often and I’ve so wished someone would think those things about me. He does. He truly does. I think those things about him too, but I am scared to tell him.
My current internet surfing time is devoted to finding the right quotes, pictures, music to share my feelings with him.
This all feels crazy. As if I am just losing my mind. Maybe I am, or maybe not?
